i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
