just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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