dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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