Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
