Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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