he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize