Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
