Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
