we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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