i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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