are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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