Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i've created a new STD.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I love you.
Bad choice
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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