Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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