can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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