I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
