Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I could make wine with my vomit
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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