Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
