hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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