If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
