When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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