mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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