So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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