We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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