anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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