I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
