Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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