Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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