She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There are leaves in my underwear?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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