Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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