Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
