...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
