It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
