is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
