I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
