if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
