God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
