i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
