3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
