Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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