The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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