So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize