She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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