Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
