Say something about gay babies.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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