he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize