as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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