guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
