when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
