Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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