38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
