So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
