Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
