i just google imaged poop.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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