Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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