so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
