U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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