She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Watching her eat just hurts me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
