big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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