So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
