I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
